Vanity Virus
by Lyra Harp
Summary: "Whoever said words don't hurt hasn't had a encyclopedia thrown at their head.Whoever said physical pain hurt more than emotional was drunk.Whoever is reading my monologue and has suffered a beating, broken heart or verbal punishment:I am sorry.Whoever has suffered the internal battle between deciding whether to live or die, please hear this:You are not alone and you are loved."-OC
1. Frostbite

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Transformers_: _Generation_ _1_.

~0~

I was disgusted by my own physiology. Suddenly I could feel it all. That I wasn't clean enough. How I would never be clean enough. Humans leave oil and fluids behind wherever they go. Fingerprints as evidence.

_Too human_. _Not clean enough_. _Humans are not clean_.

I wanted to be Cybertronian. Metal. Sleek metal. Like Mirage. Mirage was beautiful. I wasn't.

_No evidence_. _Leave nothing behind_. _Disgusting human_. _Not clean_. _Never clean_.

My mouth was dry and sticky and overall just _not right_. My body felt like lurching away from everything. The ground, dust, dirt, steel, cement-anything. Something was wrong. I felt disgusted by everything that I touched. _I need to wash everything off of me_. The thought was ridiculous in itself, since there was nothing visible on me. But I didn't feel clean. The area around me didn't feel clean. I needed to wash _something_ off me. I didn't know what-But if my body was screaming at me to wash myself into oblivion, then I was not going to object. I couldn't touch anything unless I did that. My body made that crystal clear when Hound tried to set me on the ground and I jolted away from the metal floor like it was magma. Regardless, I drowned myself in the cold-

My reaction to the hot water: _Vomit! Ick! Get it off!_

-water and attempted to wash myself with soap-

My reaction to the soap: _There_'_s a spider crawling on my skin! Kill it! Kill it!_

-before standing in the cold rain until I couldn't take it anymore. I went outside in the freezing-to-others weather. Not cold enough. Lay in the snow. Not cold enough. The human body gives off so much heat that it melts. Snow sticks to human skin, leaving a mark on the frigid wasteland. The snow melts, leaving water and other mammal fluids and god knows what else behind. The liquid seeps into cracks on skin both seen and unseen.

_Too human_. _Too organic_. _Too disgusting_.

Must get clean. Must get rid of the organic virus.

_Too human_. _Too organic_. _Too disgusting_. _Too sweaty_. _Get it off me! Ick! _

Not cold enough. I freeze. Get frostbite. I will never be cold enough because some human told me I would never be good enough for anyone because I was too ugly; too sweaty; too warm; too fat; too human. He died after a beating that night. He sat in a warm abyss and drowned in his own warm, sticky blood with his own bruised body. I almost died from frostbite in the morning. I froze in a winter wonderland and became blind from the burning white that attempted to conceal my broken heart.

I still pray to primus that he will find peace in a body that is not ugly, sweatly, slow, warm, fat, or human because that is what I want to be. He wanted to be indestructable externally so that his father could no longer beat him. I wanted to be indestructable internally so that no one could ever break my heart again. When our frames are made out of metal, we can meet again on another planet made from metal, and one of us can tell the other that they are too shiny, cold, swift, vain, and robotic for their own liking. The cycle will continue. Too human. Too robotic. Tell that to a technorganic that has to suffer being both. 'At least you _know_ what you are. I'm stuck in limbo.' Every species has their own virus. The cure is illness-insanity-vanity-cold-warm-robotic-organic-sticky-sleek-crime-control-lust-

Unconditional love.


	2. Five Seconds in Hell

**Disclaimer: **I do own _Transformers_ (2007) or _Transformers_: _Generation 1_.

**Warning:** Can I just make a little side note that this OC is, um, disturbed...? I'm not kidding when I say that you may find what she says in this chapter to be...offensive...Be warned that this is not only a clean freak, but a person who hates her own kind, so...enjoy the absurdness.

~0~

Seventeen percent say they do.

Thirty two percent say they don't.

Fifty one percent say 'it depends.'

_Ah, ah, ah, no! You idiots! Gah! Ick! Shield my eyes!_

I couldn't help but cringe when Leo grinned at my discomfort, giving me an eyefull of the food that hadn't yet passed his mystery-to-me white teeth. Sam smiled slightly in sympathy, but nothing could reassure me at the moment. They were all filthy, and they knew it. Well, they knew that I thought it. The fact that they were all eating food that had just fell on the floor was enough to make me cringe, but they also talked while they ate and laughed so that pieces of the food escaped their mouths. My whole body was screamming at me to get out of there, but I couldn't. Not with Hound watching. He was on guard duty to make sure that I ate. I had refused to eat anything for two days after I watched a youtube video about the five second rule. As I watched the soldiers, and Leo, chow down on bacteria-ridden food, I seriously considered showing them the video while they ate. But I couldn't do that. If there was anything more disgusting than watching someone eat food that had just fallen on the floor, it was watching it come back up. The poor table had already been abused with saliva covered crumbs. Why torture it, and me, with-? _Ick_. _No way_. _Don_'_t even finish that thought_. It was bad enough that the floor was covered with mud. Why would the soldiers just dig in to the food, anyway? Wouldn't they want to wash their hands after being in battle? For the love of-at least take your boots off at the entrance so that you don't track mud inside! But no. The moment they saw food, it was like they had turned into a pack of wolves charging after a lone deer.

I dodged behind Hound to avoid the stampede even though Mirage was closer. Mirage had as much to worry about as I did, and I didn't want to make him more anxious by jumping behind him and have him feel the heat from my body. If it grossed me out, it would gross him out. At least I had an excuse. Hound was technically my guardian. Whoever made that decision, however, needed some wires...rewired. Why place the clean freak human with the nature (dirt) loving autobot? It makes no sense! Then again, I could say the same about Mirage and Hound being a couple.

On the other hand, it did make sense...in a way...Hound was nice and he didn't treat Mirage like dirt...and I guess having Hound be my guardian was better than Mirage. Scratch that. _Way _better. It wasn't like I hated Mirage. On the contrary, I found him interesting, noble, loyal and...I lowered my head slightly. S-S...I don't deserve to even think it, but Mirage was attractive. I tried to stay clear of him as often as possible, but it was difficult with Hound around. Since they were bonded, they stuck together like sleak white glue in its unopened container. I considered myself the spilled dye seeping into the glue in their relationship. I didn't want to be anywhere near them in fear of being the third wheel. The last thing I wanted to do was annoy Mirage. Just the thought of angering him...I didn't deserve Hound's attention since he was Mirage's bondmate, I didn't deserve Jazz's attention since he was Hound and Mirage's superior, and I sure as hell didn't deserve Mirage's glance in my direction every now and then, let alone the instances when we would cross paths. We had touched...once...But it was a complete accident! I thought he was Hound! Primus knows how...It was a slight brush, nothing more, but once I knew it was Mirage, my face had burst into a bright red cherry before I scrambled from the room murmuring something incoherant. I prayed to Primus that Mirage took it as nothing more than me hating touch rather than something else...even though the something else would be true enough...Regardless, I let Hound touch me, if only because I knew that he wouldn't be offended by my filth. Hell, the bot had given Sam a _massage! _What Cybertronian would do that if they weren't offended by human odor?

Of course I agreed with Ironhide one hundred percent about human pets. Human lubricant is disgusting enough in itself, but having an animal stain your house in it and primus knows what else is just-Ick! How do people survive in that filth? Never mind what your stepping in, think about what your smelling! Nothing but a wrecking ball and one hundred cans of febreze would benefit that odor! Better yet, light a thousand candles and set the whole place on fire! If you can't clean it, destroy it!

I don't care if Sunstreaker is branded as the autobot that hates humans, I agree with him! Humans are disgusting! Of course I wouldn't shoot them like Ironhide would...I'm not idiotic...After all, if you do shoot them, your just creating more filth. You know, with the blood all over the place and brain matter and who knows what else...It's better just to deal with humans. I'd rather clean soot than blood. How a person can willingly go into forensics or pathology I'll never know...For that matter, why do humans willingly go to war? Why is Mirage in the war, anyway? Forget the blood, the circumstances, the environment that you live in...I'd go mad in a day. Guess that's why I'm not a soldier, but still...Wasn't Mirage neutral at one point? I thought for sure that he was...Maybe Hound made him change over? I never did ask...and I never will. I would never ask Mirage for anything. I've already stepped over the line byconversingwith Hound every now and then...Not that I have any say in it. It's considered rude to not answer a question when asked. At least, that's what I had been taught growing up. Then again, I had also been taught that it's rude to blow your nose while someone else is eating...even when your in another room...and to never, god forbid, blow your nose in a restaurant even if your nose is dripping. I mean, sure, I can understand if you use the fancy napkins or your sleeve or something...but if you use the napkin that had been under your drink, and it already has that wet circle on it...It's just water! Water's clean! Their just going to throw it away anyway! Why not just take it? But, nooo...

"Aw, sweety, do you still have that cold?" my mother asked sweetly.

"No," I said as I blew my nose with the wet napkin. I couldn't take it anymore! I couldn't breathe! What was I supposed to do, suffocate? God forbid you breath through your mouth, either...

"It's okay, sweety. I still have the cold from last week." She didn't have a cold last week, though. The last time she had had a cold was a few months prior-

"I don't _have_ a cold."

Her eyes were as cold as ice as she smiled and mouthed 'no.' "It's okay, sweety," she said again. Sweety my aft. She wasn't fooling anyone. Damn witch...It never made any sense to me how a person who is so worried about what other people think about them has the gall to have a filthy house. Thank Primus the house was condemned. Piles of stuff all over the place...droppings on the counter and the plates and basically everything a normal person would eat off of...covered in filth. The dishwasher was never used. Flies lived in the refrigerator. Moldy bread was eaten without a care. How the witch never got sick I'll never know. Cats crawled all over the place, clawed the furniture and left hair all over the place. The place stunk of urine. The fumes stuck to my clothing even if I was down there for five minutes. In a way, five minutes was like an eternity. How I survived in that house during my preteen years I will never know. Now if someone would have set that house on fire with the witch in it, I would've danced in the rain even if I risked getting my feet covered in mud. In a way, mud was a lot better than urine. _Way_ better.

I blinked as a clear container was pushed my way. Sam smiled at me. "It was already cut in half." Sam had been there to witness the food fall to the floor and was smart enough to not eat it. I guess he had gotten up at some point to get something that wasn't completely germ covered. It was a dry sandwich. Cheese and lettace. No tomato, no meat, no condiments. Thin white bread. No hair, no nails, no visable human fingerprints. Even though it was placed in a container, someone in the kitchen had the brains to neatly package each half of the sandwich in plastic wrap. And everyone used new gloves for Sam's sandwiches since he usually delivered half of them to me, so...

"Thanks," I mumbled as I took the wrapped sandwich and went over to a bench. I didn't trust the container to be clean and the woman next to me was starting to annoy me. She wouldn't stop talking even though she had food in her mouth. Even Leo had closed his mouth at that hideous sight. Wise choice for a class C idiot. Humans are idiots. Worse than idiots. An idiot can get killed by a demon if they look human. An idiot goes with the flow. A smart person does research and pays enough attention to know that something is wrong. Weakness is easy to see. Does a person exploit that weakness? Which side of the fence are they playing on if they do? But there's more than one side. If you have only one path, you'd think your only option would be to go down that path. But the other choice is to stay where you are. Sit, stand, doesn't matter. You can stay where you are and not go anywhere. Can you? Yes. Should you? Depends. Is that the smart thing to do? Hell no. Even if you remain frozen in time in a realm where you don't want to move, and the world is letting you stand-sit-remain still, fine. One problem. Time moves whether you move or not, so by not moving, your really just dooming yourself to extinction. Does it matter? Probably. Yes. But you don't know that. You think the world can go on without you. You think your life doesn't matter. According to Optimus, every life matters. Therefore, there's always a choice. Or so he says. I really can't see how 'susgesting' that I visit Smokescreen is a choice. That was an order and we both knew it.

Smokescreen is...Well, he's not human. And he doesn't give me drugs or hold me down or try to shoot or coddle me. So he's okay.

Jazz is one of those special cases. Technically he's an idiot since he goes with the flow. But he's smart enough to not get killed by the enemy and pays enough attention to know that something is wrong. He doesn't have to do research since he records everything and he's third in command. He had to do _something _right.

Prowl...Well, Prowl's no idiot. He wouldn't be second in command if he was.

Optimus has his own faults, but he is definently no idiot. No one who gets handed the Matrix is an idiot. At least, that's what Blaster tells me. I'm still not sure about Rodimus. Sentinal didn't exactly seem like the right guy for the job. Optimus fired him and gave Rodimus a reality check. Bottom line, I'm not messing with Prime. Ever. I'd be an idiot if I did.

I like Ironhide. They should just hand me off to Ironhide. Blaster said they were afraid-No, they just didn't want me near him. What's the guy gonna do, shoot me? He's an _autobot_, or did they miss that memo? It's not like the guy is going to hand me a gun. Sheesh. He may look like a tough guy, but he has a sense of humor. I like watching Ironhide work. It's interesting. Graceful, in a way. Not as graceful as Mirage, but still. Pretty impressive in my book.

What's my point? Simple. You know the percentages at the beginning of my endless ramble? That was for how many people follow the five second rule for food and eat it afterward. Seventeen percent. Idiots. Do you know how many bacteria-? 150 to 8,000 bacteria bond to dropped food. That's at least 150 bacteria too many. Thirty two percent say they don't. Basically, they waste food. Idiots. When the world goes to the dogs they'll _want_ that food. It depends. Depends on what? If it's plain squid or shrimp you throw it out, but if it's a a bagel with cream cheese that is covered in hair and primus knows what else, you'll eat it? What kind of logic is that? We're stupid at times. We make mistakes. But we can fix our mistakes and can be the smartest person in a room. Humans are humans no matter how you look at it.

In my human nature, I was too wrapped up in my sandwich to notice that Mirage was staring at me. If I had bothered to look up, I would have seen Jazz smile. Red Alert should set off the alarms when Jazz gets a devious scheme in his processor. But if he did, we'd never hear the end of it. I guess that's why Mirage turns invisible whenever Jazz is around. If I was blessed with the gift of invisibility, I would thank Primus everyday. I have a feeling every mech on base who were the victims of pranks would too.

~0~

**Author's Note:** "If you can't clean it, destroy it!" XD Yeah, don't follow this OC's guidelines...


	3. Steamy n' Nerdy

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Transformers_: _Generation_ _1_.

D = Demon

A = Angel

Hey, compared to D, A is an angel.

~0~

"Do ya think ya have enough cleaning fluid?" Jazz asked teasingly.

That's like asking Red Alert if he has enough cameras, and Jazz knew it. Of course the answer would be no, but even I knew how to pick up a rhetorical question now and then. _It will have to be enough_. _I_'_ve just got to make due with what I_'_ve got_. "Yes," I said loudly. Well, loudly for me. Some humans complained that I mumbled half of what I said...Which wasn't much, but still...

_The autobots can still hear me_. _How do you explain that? _

_Sensitive audios not blinded by loud music and explosions_.

Once humans hear one frequency at a high volume, they will never hear that frequency again. Cybertronians can have their audios rewired and can set the volume settings to whatever they want. If Cybertronians were like humans, Jazz, Blaster and Red Alert would be deaf by now. I looked up. "Thanks." Afterall, I wouldn't have gotten merely as much, at least half of the products before me, if Jazz hadn't willingly participated. Well, I suspect that Hound asked Jazz to help me. Something about a favor for a prank or something...It didn't really matter to me. As long as I could do my job efficiently, I had no complants.

"Yer welcome. Jus' don' go crazy, 'kay?"

"I won't."

I sighed when Jazz left. I liked Jazz, don't get me wrong, but I was still getting used to the autobots. I may have liked them more than my race, and if I ever met a decepticon I'm sure I would develop a fear of them as well, but I was still uncomfortable in social situations. My anti-social nature stemmed from being locked in my mother's house during my preteen years...and lack of confidence from the bullying I had received on the days I_ did _go to school...and fear of people from...well...failing to meet a human who was nice to me for longer than five minutes or _was_ but only for personal gain. My race is...I don't hate it, I just...The autobots are easier to talk to and a hell of a lot more understanding and patient. So...Okay, yes, I hate my race. I considered it normal to hate what one feared.

Anyway, whenever Smokescreen suggested different jobs at my therapy sessions with him, all I did was shake my head and hands rapidly. I was terrified of having to work in a place where I would have to deal with people constantly. Eventually, Smokescreen called me in for a session to discuss what he thought would be my 'dream job.' I rolled my eyes, but listened anyway. Then he started talking about a cleaning job on the Ark. I rolled it around in my head for a minute before asking what the job entailed and what it would be on my SA scale. The job was actually quite simple. Jazz would arrange for certain areas of the Ark to be empty for a certain amount of time.

Since the area would be devoid of basically all living creatures, I didn't have to worry about running into anybot and attempting to stamper my way out of a conversation. I was terrible about leaving conversations once another person started them. Ergo, _do not _place me in the same room as Bluestreak. I _will_ have a panic attack. Blurr has saved me from a panic attack more times than I can count, and not just from Bluestreak. I've actually had more attacks around Cliffjumper than Bluestreak. When Cliffjumper 'starts a conversation' with anyone, it's mostly a rant. Normally I can listen to a rant for hours, but when he starts about Mirage, all I want to do is punch him...even if it would do more harm than good. When someone threatens the one you love, of course you're going to want to punch them! Well, unless your a pacifist...I guess talking works...

Anyway, there's something about my cleaning obsession that I haven't dared tell Smokescreen anything about. I don't think that Smokescreen would tell anyone, but if by some off chance that he would...It's sort of...turned into this fantasy of living in a castle. My deal with the king would be that if I cleaned every single room every day, I would be free to do whatever I wanted for the rest of the day. This didn't really shock me, since the Ark was the size of a castle to a human...What was shocking was what always came...later. During my cleaning mission, while I was on a ladder, children would be playing tag. But while they were playing, they would run past the ladder and accidently tip it over so that I would fall. But I would never hit the ground because a passing noble would save me. I don't know where the fantasy came from...Maybe it was my subconscious' way of proving that not every human was a complete scumbag. At least, that's what I thought until the fantasy turned into...

'_Oh Mirage, your so noble!_'

He laughed. '_Well, of course, my lady_. _What kind of noble would I be if I didn_'_t live up to my title?_'

I sighed before banging my head on the wall once. _I am so pathetic_. _Here I am dreaming about working in a castle just for the very-off chance that a noble would_..._I_ _don_'_t even know what_. I rubbed my head. _I think the cleaning fluid is getting to me_. _Since when did I become the type of femme that dreams of princes and castles?_

_Nobles_, my secretative side whispered. _There_'_s a difference_.

I rolled my eyes. _Yeah, yeah_. _Prince, noble, whatever_. _Cleaning fluid makes people crazy_. _Next wall here I come_...

I had finished a quarter of the next wall when I heard the door slide open. I looked up before looking down at the bottle I was holding. _Either this stuff is toxic or Primus hates me_. I glanced at Mirage. _M-Maybe I could_-

_No_. _Remember, your just a commoner_. _A commoner has no business_-

"Hello."

-_greeting a noble that just greeted you_. I tried saying hello properly, but it probably just sounded like gibberish to him.

He nodded anyway. "Do you mind if I wash in here, or would you prefer I wait until you are done?"

_Wash-wait-what? _

I kicked myself. _Idiot_. _Why else would he come into the washracks?_

I nodded. "G-Go ahead. I d-don't mind."

He smiled. My eyes went wide at the sight. _Mirage-smile-at me? Pfft_. _Yeah, I_'_m dreaming_. "Thank you."

"Welcome," I mumbled before going back to scrubbing.

I sighed in relief when I heard the water turn on behind me. My heart was pounding in my ears. _Okay, so maybe I_'_m not dreaming_..._Primus does have a sick sense of humor, though_..._Placing me in the washracks with a task that requires I stay until I am finished, and then having Mirage come to the public washracks instead of using the one I_'_m guessing he has in his own quarters_..._with Hound_...I shook my head. _Forget about it_. _It_'_s not going to happen_.

I had completed three quarters of the second wall when I dropped the sponge in my hand. I bent over with my right hand on the wall and left arm pressed against my stomach as it crunched painfully. I have a slight headache. I'm sweating from the steam in the washracks coming from Mirage's showerhead behind me. My back hurts. It's as though every inch of my spine is trying to twist away from my stomach and exit through my back. _Primus, I should have ate more-_

_You_ _don_'_t know what_'_s on there_, D barked. _If anything, you should have checked it over for clear fibers!_

_Sam_ _wouldn_'_t-_

_There could have been plastic on the cheese! Those lazy-_

_Knock it off! I would_'_ve tasted anything that resembled plastic-!_

_How would you know? You haven_'_t eaten anything in two days, you lump of-_

_Stop it!_

_Oooh_. _Miss anorexia can_'_t take a hit_. _Gee, I wonder why-_

_I am not anorexic! There are- _

_Skin and bones_. _Skin and bones_. _All I see are-_

_Will you shut up? There are one hundred and fifty bacteria on dropped food_. _I_ _can_'_t risk contamination_. _That_'_s why I can_'_t eat it_. _Any of it_. _That witch_. _I_'_d be able to eat if it wasn_'_t for her and that disgusting house-_

_-littered with mouse droppings all over the counters-_

_Stop-_

_-cat urine fumes sticking to your clothes-_

_Shut-_

_-you can_'_t sleep without spiders and flies ending up in your mouth-_

_No-_

_-hampsters scaling the curtains, cats on the couch, barking dogs, screaming drunk neighbors a mere call away-_

_Please, just-_

_-not a single plate wasn_'_t littered with-_

_I_'_m going to purge if you don_'_t stop!_

_Oh, I know_. _But you know as well as I do that she_'_s going to come back and take you away from the autobots_. _She never did like having people take away her territory that she had marked with her own-_

_Shut the hell up! I_'_m not going back, she can_'_t make me! Don_'_t touch me, you slimy, no! I_'_m never going back! I_'_m not leaving! I_'_m not-!_

"Are you alright?" _No! Primus, no_. I slowly removed my hands from the sides of my head and turned to glance at Mirage before realizing, as my eyes glided from his knee joints to his face, that he was basically right on top of me. The image before me reminded me, vaguely, of a dream I had once had. Mirage was kneeled over me, surrounded with steam, still dripping wet, and looked down at me with blue optics that shone brighter than a crystal in the mediterranean sea. I shivered when one of the drops fell from his frame and nearly hit me. I lowered my head in an attempt to conceal my burning face and went to pick up the sponge again. I had almost succeeded in focusing on my work when I felt something press down lightly on my head. I looked up with wide eyes after ducking my head on impulse. _Oh Primus he touched me, he touched me, he touched me- _Mirage lifted his servo away and frowned at me. "You didn't answer my question."

I gulped. _Oooh Primus save me_. "I-I'm f-fine, j-j-just..." I lowered my head so that my bangs covered my eyes. I squeezed the sponge tightly in my hand as if it were my lifeline. My left hand that wasn't holding onto anything twitched and clawed at my leg anxiously. "F-F-Fine," I whispered so quietly I doubted even Red Alert could hear me.

Mirage stared at me before seemingly deciding something. He stood up. "Come."

"W-What?"

He waved his hand, indicating to follow him. "Come wash with me." _Yeee-up_. _I_'_m dreaming_. "There is no point in going back to your quarters now since your clothes are soaked from the steam alone. You may as well take a decent shower before you go back, and my head is the only one that is running at the moment." His processor certainly was the only one that wasn't running on autopilot. Still, I dared not question his logic...even though if he really wanted me to take a shower he could have just turned on another faucet...

While Mirage started heading back to his shower, I started...stripping...behind Mirage...

_Someone kill me_. _I really don_'_t care who it is_.

...and left my clothes next to the cleaning chemicals. I couldn't think of a better place for them at the moment, and I didn't want to make Mirage impatient by putting away the cleaning supplies first...even though I doubted he would have minded an excuse for a longer shower. _But Hound wouldn_'_t be happy with that_..._and_ _he_'_d come looking for him_..._and knowing Mirage like anyone does he_'_d look in the washracks first and oooh Primus what the hell is wrong with me? I_'_m taking a shower with a bonded bot!_

A started laughing.

_Shut up! It_'_s not funny!_

_Oooh yes it is_. _One of your fantasies __is being played out and you can do nothing but stare at Mirage_'_s back_. _And we both know that staring at the bot you admire is sooo innocent_.

_Shut up_. _I don_'_t like you either_.

_Ouch_. _What_'_d little ol_'_ me do to deserve such hatred?_

_How about _encourage_ the fantasies?_

_You have to admit he_'_s perfect for you considering your_..._obsession_...

_Only in my wildest dreams would he ever even consider teasing me with that image and string me along just for laughs_.

_You mean you don_'_t actually expect him to reciprocate _anything?

_Of course I don_'_t_. _What fool would?_

..._We need to work on your people skills_.

_My _people skills _are fine_. _It_'_s just_..._the romance that always ends with nothing but my face in the dirt covered with insects and clothes covered with mud and blood and-_

_Okaaay wild driver, time to come back_.

_But-_

_No buts_. _Stop thinking of dirt and filth_.

_What else is there to think about?_

_Well_..._your in a shower_..._so that gets rid of the dirt_..._and Mirage, the sexiest mech alive in your opinion, is in front of you in basically no armor_..._with fresh, heck, the cleanest water in the world slowly_..._slowly_..._dripping down his frame_..._caressing his face_..._removing all filth from a long day of watching you with his optics_..._leaving him in a heavenly afterglow after the water stops and you have to dry each other off_...

I covered my face. _First off, Mirage would never glaze upon me with his optics for a minute, let alone twelve hours_..._Secondly, your sick! Where in Primus_' _name do you even get ideas like that in your processor?_

_Oh, trust me, you don_'_t want to know_.

"Are you alright?" I looked up at Mirage's smiling face and amused expression and..._Don_'_t laugh, Mirage_. _I_ _can_'_t take it_. _My heart has enough potential for exploding as it is_...

I nodded. Mirage shifted so that most of the water hit the floor and not him. "Come. At least get properly wet first."

_Oh, you have no idea how close she is to that-_

I whined internally as A laughed and forced me to march forward...even as I kept my head down. My bangs covered my eyes and I prayed to any lord above that Mirage did not notice my red face...But based on his expression, I knew he had already seen it in plain view...along with pretty much all of me...

_I_'_m a pervert_. _A sick, twisted-_

_Hey now_, A chided gently. _There_'_s only room for one pervert in this head of yours and that_'_s me_. _Don_'_t go stealing my job before I even get a promotion_.

_But-_

_Relax_. _Can_'_t get out now, anyway, since your under the water_. _As long as he doesn_'_t try to get under your skin, you_'_ll be fine!_

_A! Bloody pervert, what the hell?_

A laughed. Now _your getting it! Well, not _it..._but you know what I mean!_

_Yeah, unfortunately, I do_.

Mirage shut off the water when I resembled a drowned rat. Well, I imagined I did, since I did nothing but stand under the water for at least a full minute. I stayed where I was and stared at the ground while Mirage walked off. I covered my upper half with my arms, giving myself a much-needed hug. My throat clenched. I closed my eyes as my breathing started becoming uneven. I was terrified and shaking and cold and-

_A complete idiot_. _What did I just _put _myself through? _I couldn't tell if I was having a panic attack or not. Even if I was in the middle of one, it ended the moment a dark cloud covered me. I scrunched my eyebrows together. _That isn_'_t a cloud, its-_

I yelped when something the size of a human bed sheet fell on top of me. It was fluffy, white, warm and-_used? _

I heard Mirage chuckle. "Are you going to stay under there forever?"

I considered it before sitting up and peaking my head out from under the towel. "Y-You d-d-don't j-just throw t-towels on unsus-sus-pecting v-victims."

He lowered to one knee. "What exactly is my lady a victim of?"

My face heated up again. I ducked under the towel, finding it now served as a useful security blanket. "C-C-Cruel a-and unusual punish-sh-ment."

Mirage laughed. "I don't recall giving a towel to a lady to dry herself with counting as cruel and unusual punishment in the United States."

_It does when you _throw it _on top of her_. I huffed before realizing that I was talking to Mirage...and wasn't getting yelled at for it. I stood up and wrapped the towel around me. "J-J-Just g-give a w-warning n-next t-t-time, o-k-kay? P-P-Please."

He drapped a smaller, human size towel over my head and shouldiers. I looked up at him with wide eyes again. I was in heaven. "Of course." He lowered a servo. "Your chariot." He smiled. "My lady."

I blushed before hesitantly climbing on. I crunched into a ball, making sure to cover every inch of myself. I made sure to make it so that a portion of the towel covered my head like a giant hoodie. Mirage may not mind if another Cybertronian saw a human on his servo, but I did. "W-W-Why d-do y-you c-c-call m-me a l-lady?" I mumbled on our way to wherever Mirage was going.

"Unless my memory and optics are faulty, that is what you are." I lowered my head. "My apologies. I did not mean to speak out of term."

"I-It's f-fine." My face glowed red, but this time, I didn't mind as much. "R-R-Really."

"If you say so."

Before long, we arrived at my quarters. Mirage dropped me off inside and 'bid me goodnight' before leaving me to my own devices. I floated to my nightstand, got dressed in proper night attire, and slid into bed with my new security blanket wrapped around me.


	4. Illness Intervention

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Transformers _(2007) or _Transformers_: _Generation 1_.

Chop suey + Watermelon = _Lady and the Tramp _(Which I don't own...)

**Warning:**

I swear I tried so hard to think of a name for the kid, but she insists on remaining anonymous.

Lisa: "I'm a ninja. Shh..."

Lyra: "Yeah, whatever, miss ninja..."

Lisa was the first name that came to mind, but its not quite right...The only vibe she's giving me is an "earthy vibe" which doesn't help me in the slightest. Cryptic femme, I swear...

Be warned I might change the name later...Even though its kind of pointless now, since Jazz insists on calling "Lisa" Liz. Once Jazz gives you a nickname you're kind of stuck with it.

**:Comlink:**

_**Sign Language**_

Enjoy the chapter!

~0~

Ever have one of those dreams where you believe everything you see is real, because it's so realistic that it may actually happen in real life, and only realize it isn't once you wake up? Then when you wake up, your confused as hell...? That was me, because I didn't wake up in my bedroom. I woke up in medbay. My first question to Ratchet, without even having saying anything, was why. When he saw how freaked out I was, he calmly explained that, no, I hadn't sleepwalked (even though that was the only logical explanation I could think of). He said that I had fainted in the washracks due to sleep deprivation, steam going to my brain and making me all fuzzy, and, of course, lack of substanance intake. He said Mirage had brought me here shortly after...with no towel, I noticed. So I had been cleaning the washracks...and Mirage had entered while I was cleaning...and while my clothes were wet, Ratchet claimed that was from the steam still drying out. So I hadn't actually gotten into the shower with Mirage. That part of the night was a dream induced hallucination.

I should have expected as much, and I should have been thrilled...but I wasn't. I was disapointed, felt like a complete and utter fool and was on the brink of tears. I held them back, of course, and Ratchet didn't talk to me after I lowered my head. I should had been happy it was just a dream - that I hadn't compromised me and Hound's relationship and my dignity...but I missed the good parts of my dream. The part where Mirage laughed and I blushed like a love struck fool...the part where Mirage dropped his used towel on me on purpose and teased me...the part where he bid me goodnight and I floated to my bed with his towel wrapped around me. Although, as I think about it now, I'm not sure what I would have done with the towel or how I would have explained it to...Well, Hound for one. Smokescreen was an entirely different matter. That would have been a pain in the aft, especially if Red Alert chose to show the footage to him...But, the thing is, I wanted Smokescreen to see that footage. I wanted him to tease me and Hound to critazise me and Jazz to grin in that knowing way and ask "so...how was your night?" If all that meant that Mirage had laughed in my presense and asked me to get in the shower with him and called me a lady and teased me in the process, if only for a game nobles play that I wouldn't know about, just for a laugh behind my back...I would be the happiest female in the world.

Instead, I find out that it was all a dream and that I have to stay in the medbay until Ratchet clears me for duty...and it sucks. This whole situation majorly sucks and the only thing that I want to do right now is scream, punch a few holes into some walls, even if it means staying in the medbay longer, sob until I can't breathe, and complain like other privaleged kids my age.

Instead, I curl up on my side, even though it hurts my arm with the IV in it to do so, and stare at the orange wall until I burn a black hole in it, hoping that it will dissolve the grip that Mirage has on my heart.

~0~

**:Ratchet to Hound. What's your status?:**

**:Right as rain, Ratchet. Anything I can help you with?:**

**:You could pick up your charge in the medbay:**

Ratchet rolled his optics as Hound seemingly choked on his energon.** :**_**What?**_**:**

**:I'm guessing Mirage didn't tell you...?:**

**:Tell me what? Is Lisa okay?:**

Ratchet snorted. **:Define okay:**

**:I meant from the norm, Ratchet. Don't push it:**

**:Alright. How do I put this...? No. I'm feeding her supliments through an IV right now, which isn't new, but she did faint last solar cycle and she's a little...spaced out:**

**:That's nothing new, Ratch. She's usually a little-:**

**:Like 'she didn't even complain about having anything foreign in her arm' spaced out:**

**:Scrap. Is she-?:**

**:Hound:**

**:Well, did she say anything?:**

**:This is Lisa we're talking about here. What do you think?:**

**:Did she give any-?:**

**:**_**No**_**, Hound. Look, can you pick her up now or not?:**

**:No can do, Ratchet. I'm on patrol:**

Ratchet grumbled about schedules being out of wack. **:Fine. I'll contact Mirage and-:**

**:Sorry, Ratch...'Raj is with me:**

Ratchet huffed. **:Jazz, then. That suit you?:**

**:Sure, Ratch. Over and out:**

**:Yeah, yeah:**

Ratchet hung up on Hound before frowning at Lisa's 'sleeping' form. _What did Mirage do to you, kid?_

~0~

I opened my eyes after being jostled. I looked up at Jazz' grinning faceplate.

"Hey girl. How ya doin'?"

I lowered my head. "Hm. Tired."

Jazz chuckled. "Well Ah guessed that much. Ah meant how ya feelin'?"

_Like the devil just ran over me with his pick up truck_. _I feel like hell, Jazz, what about you? _"Lousy." I yawned, tears on the rims of my eyes.

"Well yer 'bout ta feel a lot worse."

I turned my eyes to look at Jazz with my perepheral vision. "Explain."

"Yer kind of banned from cleaning. Hatchet's orders. Said the cleaning supplies were hazardous to yer health." I closed my eyes. "So...are ya cool with that? How's it sound ta ya?"

"Fine."

_I refuse to end up in a dangerous situation like that again_. _If I have to go on nature walks with Hound and take showers in the commoners washracks to avoid Mirage, I will_.

Jazz entered Hound's quarters and placed me on my berth. "I'll be back later, 'kay?"

I yawned. "'Kay."

I opened my eyes slightly when I heard the door close. _Why did it have to be Jazz?_

~0~

"Smokey, ya ain't gonna believe what Ah got ta tell ya."

"I assure you that I have completely confidence in you Jazz...when it comes to everything that comes out of your mouth to be a surprise."

Jazz placed one servo on his hip. "Mech, just for that, Ah'm hiding yer secret stash."

"Do what you will. Prowl will get it back for me."

"Not if Ah'm the one ta confiscate it. Bondmate, remember?"

"...Is there a point to you being here, Jazz, or did you come here to make empty threats?"

"Ah, ya wound mah pride...Nah, though. Seriously, ya ain't gonna believe it."

"Then spit it out already. I have reports to fill out."

"Yer worse than Prowl an' Ratch' combined, ya know that?"

"_Jazz_..."

"'Kay, 'kay...I jus' picked up Liz from medbay an' gave 'er the bad news 'bout goin' on leave for a bit. Know what she said?"

"'Primus, no, not my cleaning equipment?'" Smokescreen chuckled.

"Better...'Fine.'"

Smokescreen dilated his optics for a klik. "I'm sorry, my audios must be malfunctioning-"

"Ain't no joke, mech. She completely blew the idea off as if she _wanted_ a break. Ya know how Liz is."

"Hm. I do...Where is she now?"

"Well, Ah set her on her berth. Don' really think she's gonna be doin' much restin', though."

"And why is that? If her retort to being seperated from her cleaning equipment really was 'fine', she must be exhausted."

"Well, she wasn't exactly dry when Ah picked 'er up."

Smokescreen raised an optic ridge. "What did she do? Take a shower while she was cleaning?"

"Better."

"Jazz, how can it possibly-"

"With 'Raj."

"Does Mirage have a twin I don't know about?"

"Smokey..."

"...Sorry. To be honest, I'm surprised he let her."

"Why? Ya believe the junk the mechs on this base spout 'bout him?"

"Primus no. I just didn't know he cared that much about her."  
"The femme's pratically Hound's lil' sis, Smokey. 'Course he cares. She jus' don' know it yet."

"Surely she must know after being invited into the shower with him? The only one Mirage ever invites to participate in that activity is Hound."

"They didn't_ bathe _each other, Smokey. Jus'...watch the tape later. Anyway, Ah didn't come 'ere ta gossip."

"Then what did you come here for, since I am obviously out of the loop on this one? She never once mentioned feeling anything for Mirage."

"What do ya need, mech, a flashing sign?"

"Its that obvious?"

"More than she is willing to admit, yeah. Aside from yer processor goin' ta oblivion..." Jazz grinned as Smokescreen huffed. "'Raj said she's been spacier than normal lately. Though ya might like ta address it befo' he does."

"Not as though I have any choice in the matter...Very well. I will address it in our next meeting."

"Which will be...?"

Smokescreen raised an optic ridge. "Soon. Don't push it."

"Its fo' yer own safety, Smokey. Ah don' know how much longer Ah can hold 'Raj back."

"Please. You'll open the gates for him."

"Ain't never said Ah wasn't predictable. Jus' get it set befo' Red alerts the Ark 'bout yer _bouts_ with Bluestreak."

"You pit spawned-"

"See ya, Smokey! Tell meh how Liz is, 'kay?"

Smokescreen leanned back in his chair with a huff. _Spies_.

~0~

_Why does just turning over make me so light headed_..._?_ _Ugh, and why does my stomach churn in my usual comfortable position? Now I have to lay on my back and I_'_m going to wake up not being able to move and-_

_I didn_'_t know you could complain so much_. _I wonder what Mirage would think of that-_

_Hush_.

_I_'_m just-_

I said _hush_. _I_ _don_'_t need any backtalk from you right now_. _I feel like scrap_. _Leave me alone_.

_Well excuse me for trying to cheer you up_.

_The only thing that could possibly cheer me up right now is if this virus left my system in five seconds_.

_Well maybe if you ate more and drank a substantial amount of liquid you wouldn_'_t have a virus right now_.

_Don_'_t give me that_. _Do you even know what bread is made of?_

_Carbs that girls apparently hate for no reason_..._?_

_Hair fibers, idiot_. _If I wanted to eat hair I_'_d chew it off my own head_.

_That_'_s a little much, don_'_t you think?_

_Facts are facts_.

_If you knew that, then why did you eat the sandwich Sam brought you?_

_Hound was standing right there_. _I had to eat something and I sure as hell wasn_'_t going to eat the food from the floor_.

_In other words, you_'_d rather eat hair than something that fell on the floor for five seconds?_

_I_'_d_ rather_ eat none of it_. _It_'_s all contaminated_. _But if I don_'_t eat something Ratchet will throw a wrench at my head and then I_'_ll just feel worse_.

_Well_ _that_'_s one way of looking at it_...

_Hm_.

_What if Mirage were to feed you something-?_

_Don_'_t start that again_. _I told you that its never going to happen_.

_What if he was ordered to?_

_No_. _Humans are even more disgusting when they eat_. _Its never pretty_.

_Clearly I need to introduce you to the wonders of a banana split_.

_Never going to happen_. _Vanilla flavoring is made from castorcum_. _Do you know what that is?_

_No_..._but I have a feeling your going to tell me anyway_...

_It_'_s a beaver_'_s anal gland juice_.

A sighed. _Your hopeless_.

_What_'_d I do now?_

_You really don't have a dirty bone in your body, do you?_

I groaned. _Why did you bring up my skeletal system? Its bad enough that I have to worry about the external-_

_Okay, okay_. _Sheesh_. _I was speaking metaphorically_.

_Oh_...

_Oh? That_'_s all I get?_

_Well its obvious_ _I_'_m not going to understand what your talking about even if you explain it thoroughly_. _Any physical proof you could show me would only bring me distress and I_'_m banned from using the computer so_ _I_'_m kind of dead beat right now_.

_Let me try a simplier approach_. _You_ do _know how children are created, correct?_

_God, sperm, egg_.

..._Okay, so do you know _why _people reproduce when they could just adopt?_

..._I think you know the answer to that_. _I can_'_t read minds_. _Nor would I ever want to_...

_Not even if it was Mirage_..._?_

_Where are you going with this?_

_How would you feel about creating a child with Mirage?_

_Why would you even _suggest_ that? You are completely and utterly insane! _

_So you so enjoy pointing out_..._Let me ask this_. _Why is the idea insane?_

_W-Well_..._I-I_'_m pretty sure its impossible_..._B-Besides-! That could never happen!_

_Why not?_

_Creating a child is a personal matter, I know that much_..._Its much too personal_. _Mirage and I could never get that close_..._Besides, I don_'_t even want children_. _It will completely mess with my body chemistry and pregnant women always want to eat the strangest things like chop suey and watermelon in the same bowl_. _I might want to eat something contaminated!_

_I thought you just said that everything you could possibly eat was contaminated_...

_Y-Yeah, w-well_..._I mean, if everything was really contaminated we_'_d all be dead right now_. _We have anti-virus systems for a reason_. _Mine is just_..._not functioning at optimal level_...

_In other words, you_'_re as weak as a tooth pick against a great white shark_.

_I_'_ll have you know that a tooth pick hurts like hell against punctured gums! _

A laughed. _Oh sure, pull that one on me_..._Man, your a trip_.

_I am not male_.

_I know, I know_..._Your a _'_lady_'_, right?_

_Humph_.

_Look, Lisa_..._You have to eat something_. _Can you try? For Mirage, at least?_

_Why should he care? I_'_m just a low-life common bug_..._Who cares if one gets squished?_

_Hound cares_. _Do you really want him to be in pain if you die on him?_

_Of course not_...

A sighed. _Besides, Mirage will be the one who will have to pick up the pieces and an unhappy Hound makes an unhappy Mirage-_

_I get it_. _I_'_ll eat_..._but only if its not bread_..._or mushrooms_...

_What did mushrooms ever do to you?_

_Do you really want to go there?_

_I_'_m bored_. _Entertain me_.

_I am not a slut!_

_Oh, so you _do_ have a dirty bone in your body-_

_Shut up!_ I sat up when I heard the door to Hound's quarters start to open._ If its Mirage I_'_m murdering Ratchet_.

_Oh sure_. _Murder the one being that can issue shots that protect you from germs semi-annually _legally. _What a great idea_.

_Shut up already_...

"Hey Lisa! How's it hangin'?" I flopped back down to the bed, presumably bored and overworked. "That bad, huh? Well I'm on watch duty, so I'm supposed ta watch ya 'til ya eat this here soup...whether ya like it or not."

_Not, not, not, not, not-_ "Tired."

"Don't look like yer doin' much sleepin', does it?"

"Humph."

"Aw, c'mon, don' be like that. I'm tryin' ta help ya."

"I don't recall asking for your help."

"Well ya got it, an' Ah ain't leavin' ya 'til ya eat, so ya may as well accept it."

I grumbled again as I sat up. I sniffled. _Meh_..._this sucks_.

_Since when did being sick rock?_

_Since _'_sick_' _started meaning _'_awesome_.'

_You really are delusional, aren_'_t you?_

_Yup and don_'_t you forget it_.

I came back into focus a little when Jazz placed a cold-to-me servo on my forehead. "Ya okay, girl? Do ya feel sick? Wan' the bucket?"

When I looked at the broth bowl on the nightstand my stomach churned and growled at the same time. It smelled unpleasant...but at least it wasn't hair fibers or maggots. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply. "Not yet."

"Wanna try the soup?"

"Sure," I croaked.

Jazz placed a hand against one shoulder to steady me and brought the spoon up to my mouth. "Open."

I swallowed the broth with a shiver. "Cold," I mumbled.

"Thought ya didn't like the heat. Change yer mind?"

"Hmm..."

He swepted my bangs out of my face. "I'll go heat it, 'kay? Think ya can wait?"

I didn't respond as I laid my head back against the headboard. I clenched the mattress under the sheets, feeling like I was falling. When I heard Jazz shift a thought came to mind. _If Mirage comes back_...

"W-Wait!" I breathed out as I lurched forward and grabbed Jazz' left sleeve. My actions caused several things to happen at once. First, Jazz spilled the soup onto my lap and the side of the berth. I fell forward because I didn't have the sustain my balance. Jazz dropped the bowl, caught me with one hand, used the other to pull my hair out of my face, and used his left foot to kick the bucket near the nightstand directly below me. My stomach churned even more as a result of my sudden movement and I purged my tanks for everything they were worth. In my hazzy field of central vision (peripheral was completely out of wack), I noticed that some of my leftovers missed the bucket and hit the bottom part of Jazz' holoforms' pant leg. I tried to catch my breath. My throat burned from leftover...leftovers. My nose dripped so that all I smelled was the leftovers. Hot tears stung as some dropped into the bucket. Others slid down my face and washed away the grime. Jazz lifted me up so that my legs folded over the berth in a normal sitting position so that I didn't have to sit like I was praying to a god. He handed me a cup of water. I took a big sip, swished it around in my mouth and spit out the excess garbage in the bucket. I took other sips in a vain attempt to clear my throat. I blew my nose into a tissue while Jazz wiped the tears away with another.

I half expected Jazz to say, 'look what ya made meh do!'

"Better?" he asked softly.

I stared at him with blurry vision. _What do you think?_

He smiled slightly. "Here. Let's get ya cleaned up." He picked me up like one would a princess. I rested my head on his chest before poking him in the arm. He looked down. I made a peace sign at him before poking him in the chest. _I_'_m not the only one who needs to change_.

He chuckled and placed a kiss on my forehead. "Later, 'kay? Ya come first."

Jazz carried me to Hound's private washracks before setting be against a wall. He filled a new bucket with warm water and grabbed a few human-sized towels in the corner. I took off the top half of my clothes in the process and waited. He turned me so that he washed my back with a towel. He handed me a wet towel to wash my front with. "Hey, Liz?"

"Hm."

"What do ya think o' Hound?"

_**Brother.**_

"Hatchet?"

I smiled. _**Uncle.**_

"Smokey?"

_**Toy.**_

"What 'bout-?"

My head snapped up at the sound of the door opening. I quickly lowered my head so that my bangs covered my eyes. One arm was used to keep the towel steady against my front so that it, for the most part, wasn't visible. The other hand was placed in front of me so that I wouldn't fall over. My heart beat loudly and pulsed painfully in my ears. I heard the door close behind Mirage. The look of disgust and anger on his face was plain as day. The hand holding the edge of the towel clutched it so hard the knuckles turned white. _Do I really disgust him that much? _

"Well Ah was gonna ask 'bout 'Raj, but it seems kinda pointless now, don't it?" I stood up using the hand on the floor and placed it on the wall. I inched along, trying to keep steady. I distinctly felt the slossy water under my feet. "Liz?" _Pointless_. _It_'_s all pointless_. '_Seems kinda pointless now, don_'_t_ _it?_' _Completely_. Jazz came up behind me. "Let meh help-"

I turned slightly and slapped him. _No, you will not help me_. _I_'_ve had enough_. "Pointless," I snarled. _You just think everything is a game, don_'_t you? Well guess what, Jazz, I_'_m not laughing_. I lowered to the ground, shivering. "Either g-get s-s-serious or g-get o-out."

I waited a minute or so, but Jazz didn't seem to want to move. _What_'_s the matter - cold feet? I thought you _liked_ the heat_. "At least let meh help ya get dressed," Jazz said dryly.

I said nothing as he helped me sort things out, physically, to normal. There was no evidence of the previous mess in the main room. Jazz claimed it was Swoop - orders from Ratchet, not Hatchet. Jazz set me in bed again with clean sheets and multiple layers of blankets since I was shivering like a mad woman. Jazz kissed my forehead again before leaving without a word. I curled up into a ball. The chills disguised the sobs until I fell asleep.


	5. Tower Guardian

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Transformers_ (2007).

**Warning:**

This chapter includes Bible references and stories. I am not familiar with these stories or the Bible, but I wanted to fit it in somehow. As Lisa had a difficult childhood, I wanted her to have some connection to a divine being and then connect the autobots to the Bible through some stories I found on the internet and we all know that the internet is_ so _accurate.

When Lisa hears the name "Prime" she instantly connects it to the First Hour. "Prime, or the First Hour, is a fixed time of prayer of the traditional Divine Office, said at the first hour of daylight (approximately 6:00 am), between the morning Hour of Lauds and the 9 am Hour of Terce."

When she hears that Mirage was once a Tower's mech and a noble, she connects that to a tower spoken of in "Proverbs 18:10." "In lowliness Christ came, yet is indeed a Tower protecting and defending the sheep of His pasture, founded on earth in His Human Nature, reaching to Heaven in His devine; 'a strong Tower, the righteous runneth into it, and it is safe.'"

Also: "And thou, O tower of the flock, the strong hold of the daughter of Zion, to thee shall it come, even the first dominion; the kingdom shall come, to the daughter of Jerusalem."

"Stronghold - (Ophel) of the daughter of Zion Ophel was a strong place in the South of Jerusalem, the last which the wall, enclosing Zion, reached, before, or as, it touched on the Eastern porch of the temple, with whose service it was connected."

"And thou, O tower of the flock - "'Tower of Ader', which is interpreted 'tower of the flock', says Jerome who lived there, 'and foresignifying by a sort of prophecy the shepherds at the Birth of the Lord.'" Genesis 35:21

"The shepherds, keeping watch over their flocks by night, saw and heard the Angels singing, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"

"In the last war, it was held together with 'the temple, and the adjoining parts to no slight extent, and the valley of Kedron.' It was burnt before the upper city was taken. It had been encircled by a wall of old; for Jotham 'built greatly upon its wall,'" 2 Chronicles 27:3, Manasseh 'encircles it' 2 Chronicles 33:14, 'and raised it exceedingly.'" = The reason why Lisa will eventually ask Prime if the autobots were in a war and if a tower was ever burned on Cybertron...Not exactly a great day for Mirage.

"Before the mention of the greatness of the 'dominion to come,' is set forth the future poverty to which it should come." = Lisa's explanation for Mirage 'lowering himself to fighting standards' and being Hound's mate in the beginning. Presently, of course, thinking such a thing would be an insult.

**Source: **

http . . bible . c c / micah / 4 - 8 . h t m

Religion is _so_ confusing. I don't know how people remember all the facts. Its a gift and job in itself...and I didn't even read the whole thing! I'm giving you people snibits...bits and pieces...nibits...? Yes, I'm giving you a plot bunny that is nibbling on a carrot. ~_~ Don't mind me. Just be warned I don't know all the facts. I believe that God loves everyone and that's about it.

_**Sign Language**_

**Author's Note:**

a) I'm sorry~! T-T A two month waiting period may be late for some of you and...pretty much on time for me. I don't know if anyone is actually following this thing other than _Princess of Dreams_, who I must thank for reviewing each chapter so far, but if you are and I don't know it then I'm sorry~!

b) Anyway, good news. Lisa's real name is Shelbie Berlingham. When I stumbled upon this beauty was was like: _Yes! __Finally, a name! _XD You have no idea how huge of a accomplishment this is. Lisa, I mean Shelbie, finally told me something personal! It's a miracle! I'm so proud!

*Lisa stares at Lyra, incredibly bored. Lyra hugs her anyway.*

Enjoy the chapter, lovely readers!

~0~

_Lisa POV_

I didn't know that one could take watch duty so seriously. Maybe I hoped that no one would since I hate being stared at...I knew that I was nothing worth staring at. The only reason I was stared at was because...I made a mistake. I revealed too much by being myself. You can't reverse that. The only thing I could try to do was fake it. Fake getting better without asking for help. Asking for help would mean being serious about changing and I don't want to change. I like who I am minus getting sick all the time and fainting and having panic attacks. I try to avoid society, people, as much as possible. Being in a military base should have been easy for me, but it wasn't. It was crazy. People, items-Everything moved all the time. It was impossible to keep things in order and keep a routine in place. I admit that it was better than other places I could have ended up, but it wasn't perfect. Nothing's perfect.

_I_'_m certainly not_. _If I was perfect then maybe Mirage would consider liking me_...

Mirage not liking me was probably the most confusing part of the equation right now. _I mean, he was probably ordered_..._of course he was ordered_..._He was ordered to watch me_. _I get that_. _Mirage follows orders from Prime and Jazz, so it_'_s completely understandable that he would follow through_..._What I don_'_t understand is why is he taking watch duty literally and hasn_'_t taken his optics off of me since he walked in_. Part of me wanted to tell Mirage to buzz off and watch something more interesting and less disgusting than a sick human. The other part, however...was melting. Both literally and figuratively.

Hound said Mirage was on watch duty, since...I don't actually know the reason. He told me that and left Mirage and I in a very awkward situation. If I was Mirage, I would've been cursing my mate and thinking "he's lucky he's cute." Or, perhaps, in Prowl's tongue, "you are very fortunate that I consider you a valid and crucial member of the autobots." But I'm not Mirage. I'm me. And being me, in an intensely awkward situation like that, involves avoiding any and all optic contact, no speaking, not even an awkward greeting, and turning over on my side. Am I aware that it's rude to do so? Yes. Do I care...? Moderately. Minutely. Extremely. I'm very confused. It's been a confusing and stressful month...Month...

My eyes snap open.

_Oh for the bloody love of Primus, are you kidding me right now?_

_Emphasis on the bloody_, D reinerates.

I bite my bottom lip hard to keep from groaning and pull the sheet up over my head. _Of all the times_..._Of all the _bots-_Why_ _can_'_t Red Alert be on watch duty? I could care less if he follows me around with a camera on my neck as long as Mirage isn_'_t in the same general area_.

But he was. He was behind me, sitting in a chair with magnificent posture, as always, and burning holes into my back. With that in mind, I slowly sit up and turn so that my back is against the headboard. I stare at my knees, face burning, body practically drenched with sweat, a fact I particularly found to be disgusting, and gripped the top fold of the sheet in my hands in an vain attempt to hide my shaking. "C-Can you...?" I close my eyes and gulp. _**Close your eyes and audios**_. _**Please**_. "F-F-Five minu-utes-s," I promise.

Mirage doesn't say anything to acknowledge my command. He simply follows my instructions. When I convince myself that Mirage would actually listen to me, even if it was for only five minutes, I slide down the ladder attached to the berth, quickly grab a pad from my dresser, and lock myself in the restroom.

~0~

_Mirage POV_

Mirage smiled when Lisa closed the door behind her. He didn't honor his charge's request to turn his audios off for two reasons. One-If she fell while in the restroom, he wanted to be able to help her regardless of the embarrassment she would no doubt feel. Two-He was well aware that the femme was on her menstruation cycle. Mirage was aware of alot of things. As a spy it was in his job description to know everything about everyone. However, he tended to dig deeper when it came to those he was especially close to. Mirage knew nothing of the femme's past or why she refused to talk to her own race because she had no record other than living in the orphanage. That record was useless, however, as it told him nothing he didn't already know. _Mute_. _Picky eater_. _Enjoys reading_. The last comment was the only thing of really value to Mirage. He was able to view the record of books that she had read while in the orphanage. Religion-Particularly Christianity. Languages of the world. Sign Language. Cleaning methods. Rituals. A scientific explanation of bacteria that Ratchet would consider child's play. He did not bother to mention such a thing in Lisa's presense for obvious reasons. Overall, there was nothing surprising about Lisa.

He was aware that other humans considered her a nuisance, which is why he tended to follow her everywhere when he was off duty. When Jazz told him to chill out alittle, he insisted that it was only for her protection. He would not have others hurting his charge. Or worse, his charge hurting herself. Then again, the logical part of his processor knew that Lisa was safe with Jazz. Jazz was, after all, the first Cybertronian that she had interacted with besides Hound.

Jazz was the first friendly face to greet her upon entering the Ark for the first time. The soldiers who accompanied Lisa introduced her as Shelbie Berlingham. The introduction was promptly followed by a glare from Lisa. If any of the soldiers noticed the hostile twelve year old, they pretended not to. When the femme seemingly refused to answer any greetings anyone threw her way, Jazz took a different route from the standard meet-and-greet that humans were fond of.

"What's wrong, kid? Cat got yer tongue?"

She tilted her head as though she herself was from Cybertron and had never heard a human expression. Finally, she raised her hand. _**No**_. _**Mute**_. She paused. _**I**_**'**_**m sorry**_. _**Do you know sign language?**_

_**We learn quick**_. _**Cybertronians can look up anything on the internet**_.

She blinked. _**Internet?**_

_**I thought all humans knew what the internet was**_. _**I**_'_**m sure Sam can fill you in later on the specifics**_.

_**Sam?**_

_**Another human**_.

She nodded, head turning downcast for a moment. _**What is your name?**_

_**Jazz**_. _**I notice you don**_**'**_**t like your name**_. _**Want me to call you another? We can**_**'**_**t change it legally without parental consent but Hound doesn**_**'**_**t care what your name is as long as your happy**_**. **_**Mirage **__**doesn**_**'**_**t care either, no matter what his facial expression may tell you**_**. **Jazz chuckled while Mirage scouled.

The femme looked pleased at the observation and 'voiced' her name choice before analysing the rest of Jazz's statement._** Mirage?**_

_**Blue and white tower mech to my left and your right**_**. **

Mirage watched with interest as the organic femme's optics widened. She eyed him multiple times before mustering all of her courage, taking a deep breath, turning to him, and bowing at a ninety degree angle.

Several mechs in the room had to reset their optics while Mirage's continued to dialate. Why the femme felt the need to bow to him based off of Jazz's description of him he'll never know, but Mirage couldn't help but feel disgusted, uncomfortable and proud. His Prime said that the humans would consider them gods. But, no matter how flattered he was, having one bow to him when he wasn't a Prime nor an officer was not proper military dictation. If he were a decepticon he would cut her helm off for acting out of term. But Mirage was neither cruel nor blindsided. His mate had chosen this human to be their adopted offspring for reasons unclear to him. Regardless, he would honor Hound's request to treat the human kindly. So, instead of stalking out of the room, he merely turned his helm.

The femme took the hint and straightened back up to face Jazz when she received no comment.

_**Species?**_

Jazz, while still trying to organize his thoughts, no doubt, signed something Mirage doubted even he knew meant. He would be having a talk with Mirage later.

The femme's lips twitched before she lifted a shakey hand. _**You just said your a watermelon bunny from mars**_. _**I**_**'**_**m not deaf**_. _**You may speak**_.

Jazz chuckled. _**You saying I**_**'**_**m not cute? Ain**_**'**_**t I fluffy?**_

_**If you were I would be-**_ She paused, looking as though she just lost three years study worth of sign language. _**Your metal**_. _**Not fluffy**_. _**No mix**_.

_**I don**_**'**_**t know**_**. **_**I**_**'**_**ve seen some weird stuff**_**.**

She nodded. _**Expected**_**. **Jazz tilted his helm. _**Space must be**_**...**_**in-interesting**_**.**

_**Not really**_**. **_**All I**_**'**_**ve ever seen is flying rocks**_**. **_**Ain**_**'**_**t exactly fun**_**.**

She hesitated, hand shaking in mid air. _**P-Perhaps**_**...**_**A different culture**_**. **_**Hard adapting**_**.**

_**For some of us**_**. **_**I think its fun learning how humans are different and similar to us**_**.**

She dropped her hand immediately to her leg again, clawing in deep, nodding. Mirage turned his helm back to her when her social awkwardness became painful to ignore. Being awkward around another species was understandable, but the femme seemed to be almost...worse with her own. She barely raised her hand at all even though some of the soldiers had taken the time to learn it. It was apparent to Mirage after watching the femme for ten minutes that their efforts were wasted. Her head, for the most part, remained downcast. She appeared accustomed to looking at things through her bangs that reached her nose. She was forced to move them when she looked at the giants towering her. Mirage admitted that the human was, as Hound once put it, adorable. He was quite fond of her from the beginning, although he would never admit it to anyone other than his mate.

When one of the human soldiers had informed Prime casually about how horrible foster care could be for a child, Prime ordered Hound to adopt one under false pretenses. Hound was ecstatic regardless of the circumstances. Mirage took some convincing. Regardless of his initial resistance, Mirage was interested in the idea of watching over a human as his own. His interest was peaked when he witnessed the next event.

Prime took the lapse in conversation as cue to introduce himself. Mirage watched with a mix of horror, fascination and pride when the human almost instantaneously got to her knees and bowed to Prime. Most humans would spare Prime a nod or a hand shake. None had bowed to him as respectfully as her before her. While he was still dazed, he heard Prime tell Lisa to stand. Mirage was frustrated at his Prime's refusal to accept the respect his title bore down on him. It was his birth right for people to bow at his pedes when they layed eyes on him, let alone when they learned his name or title if they were blissfully or ignorantly unaware. Mirage understood, however, as Jazz had explained, that humans found bowing to be intensely awkward and strayed from the tradition except on the rare occasions when they would come together and pray in unison to their god. Even then, half of the time they stood to attention when praying in unison.

Mirage was never one to concern himself with human politics and religion. After seeing Lisa's display, however, he considered it. If this human had the frame of mind to bow to a reincarnation of another species god without hesitation, then she was worthy of his respect. In time, she would earn his praise. In the time it took for Mirage to believe she was worthy of his love, he had noticed that she had fallen from her own god's grace. She refused to eat and became buried in her own cleansing rituals that Mirage could relate to. She was just as awkward in social situations as the day he met her. Oddly enough, or perhaps rightly so, she was more awkward around him than anyone else.

She was normally casual around Jazz, or as casual as anyone had ever seen the human, which was expected. Mirage had noticed a rift between them recently. He suspected that the rift was his doing because of his jealously. Mirage planned to fix the rift by staying closer to Lisa and communicating to her, in any form he could, that he wanted her to speak to Jazz again. However, Mirage would be lying to himself if he said that he signed up for watch duty for that sole reason. He wanted to ease Lisa's awkwardness around him. He wanted the relationship that Jazz had with her except more intimate. While Mirage doubted that Lisa would reject that intimacy, he was aware it would take time for her to accept that he truly loved her. He was also aware that Ratchet would not allow any sort of intimacy with Lisa until she was healthy, which any being with visual sensors could see that she was not. Mirage would get Lisa to eat regularly again, talk to him casually, and repair any mental or physical damage done to her. He swore his spark on it.


	6. Whose Got the Blues?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Transformers_ (2007) or the song _You'll be in my heart _(by Phil Collins).

**Warning:** BlurrxBluestreak. Mention of BluestreakxSmokescreen and BlurrxMirage. Teasing only. There will be no intercourse in this fanfiction.

**:Comlink:**

_:Music:_

_**Sign Language**_

[Flashback]

~0~

_Blurr POV_

When Blurr had met Lisa, he noticed that her stutter and social handicaps were different from some of the humans on the Ark, but by no means odd. He had heard enough jabs at him and his bondmate, Bluestreak, over the years about _their_ mannerisms when speaking to consider her normal. When he tried to make a joke about it, it did not have the desired effect. He thought, even with her social awkwardness, that he would receive a smile. What he got was a confused look followed by angry hand gestures that he was glad the humans around them couldn't decipher. It didn't take much to calm her down. When he told her that it didn't bother them, she pursed her lips, but otherwise didn't protest. She quickly lost her attitude when she noticed that some of the other humans were staring at them. She lowered her head and signaled if they could go somewhere else. Blurr smiled before complying and taking her to meet Bluestreak.

[Blue greeted her enthusiastically until he paused to realize she wasn't responding. "Oh Primus, I scared her, didn't I? Did I scare you? I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that I know that humans can find our size threatening even though I'm sure that humans can be scary too if those horror movies I watched last week are anything to go by I was really scared those humans were really scary weren't they Blurr?"

Lisa smiled. Lisa knew that humans could be scary since they scared her on a daily basis, but she was a human. The fact that she was scary to an alien robot at least five times her height was very amusing. _**You didn't scare me. **_

"Oh my Primus is that sign language?" Lisa nodded after blinking at his enthusiasm. "I always wanted to learn that oh my Primus wait a second I can!"

Lisa looked up at Blurr, confused, after he chuckled. "Wait for it," he said in amusement. "He'll try and go right back to talking."

Lisa shrugged. _**That's okay. Alot of people do that.**_

"Blurr that's mean I was going to try it I was!"

"Uhhuhwhennextcenturywhenyouremembered?"

Blue stuck his glossa out at him. "Oh be quiet grumpy gus your just mad you can't race on the streets because your too fast and it wouldn't be fair."

"IwouldslowdownforthehumansbesidesI'mnotontrialher e." He signaled to the human in his servo.

"Fine but I'm still saying your a stubborn mech. Hey are you-Oh my Primus I never asked you your name did I? Sorry I do that alot without realizing it because I tend to forget oh quiet Blurr that's not the point." Blurr just gave him an innocent smile. Blue rolled his optics.

_**Don't worry about it Blurr. I forget stuff, too. Oh, and my name is Lisa.**__ She smiled. __**See? It happens.**_

"I'm glad that someone understands because my bondmate sure doesn't he jokes about my memory all the time."

"Idonotjokeaboutitallthetime."

Blue snorted. "Yeah you do. Lisa don't believe anything this mech says he lies all the time."

"Idonotlieallthetimeyouarebeingridiculous!"

"Yeah you do Blurr. You just lied about you lying your lying right now!" Blue made a gasping motion while pointing at Blurr in mock horror. "Oh my Primus now your inside my helm making me lie for you you keep twisting my helm around Blurr stop it!" Blurr was about to tell Bluestreak to cut it out when they both noticed that Lisa was laughing. "Lisa why are you laughing? Blurr your supposed to tell me when I make a joke without realizing it you know I don't pick these things up!" he said in mock outrage.

Blurr raised an optic ridge. "Mesincewhenisthatmyjob? I'mnotthejokepoliceProwlis."

"Prowl doesn't make jokes silly! He makes _statements_. Oh come on Blurr stop laughing there is a distinct different don't you think I would know if Prowl made a joke or not? Lisa you don't think this is funny do you? Oh man you do your still laughing." Bluestreak crossed his arms and pouted.

Lisa covered her mouth as she laughed silently. She didn't know who this 'Prowl' was but her lack of knowledge didn't make the fake fight any less amusing.]

Lisa was still innocent when Blurr met her. Her knowledge of the world was limited even with the research done in her room in the social security facility, but one thing was clear. No matter how good her spark was, she was easily influenced by any information she came across. It was the main reason Ratchet had banned her further use of what humans referred to as the information highway. She fought the ban one hundred percent until Smokescreen told her that Hound was 'devasted by her research'. What Smokescreen told her was a blatant lie. Although it did worry Hound when Lisa would not eat, he had not spoken of it to anyone but Mirage, which Mirage in turn told Ratchet, and Ratchet was bound to patient-doctor confidentiality. Lately, however, Lisa seemed to become an exception to this rule. Smokescreen was, no matter how devious, technically a medical professional with his knowledge in both the human and Cybertronian psyche. Jazz had even broken protocal by giving weekly updates to Smokescreen on personal aspects of Lisa's life when she had specifically requested for both of them to remain silent on any personal issue. Frankly, it wasn't anything either of them were good at...and it wasn't as though they went and gossiped to the whole Ark about her personal life. The only mechs that were kept in the loop along with Smokescreen, Jazz and Ratchet were Prime and Hound. Prowl learned by extension of Jazz and Mirage learned by extension of Hound. Prowl pretended to stay in the shadows of the issue since he never enjoyed intervening unless strictly necessary. Mirage, on the other hand, did far more than stay in the shadows. He watched Lisa constantly after her second known attempt at suicide on the Ark. The first was witnessed by Blurr, who downright, uncharastically, refused to tell anyone about it. Not even Prime, Jazz or Prowl could get him to metaphorically sing. He cared for her immensely, if their 'whisk me away from the room when I give the signal' agreement was anything to go by. Whenever such an event occured, they would be gone for hours. Jazz suspected he was one of the only ones she really opened up to, and that frustrated Mirage. Blurr wasn't Lisa's guardian, himself and his bondmate were. Why didn't she open up to them? They hadn't threatened her life. She was always safe in their quarters. But because of her painful-to-watch shyness around Mirage, her constant stutter that was present for reasons even Ratchet couldn't figure out, and distaste (Mirage and Red Alert suspected fear) for her own race, she never opened up as much as they all wanted.

Mirage knew full well that Lisa had a crush on him. He wasn't blind. No, the problem was that she was. She was blind to anything she didn't see as the truth. It helped nothing whatsoever that she had a paranoid streak wider than Red Alerts. At least Red Alert drank the energon Inferno gave him, didn't believe the energon dispenser in the rec room was contaminated, trusted his mate, had a few friends on the Ark and knew how to have fun...No matter how twisted his idea of fun was. Lisa, however, didn't recognize any potential friendships on the Ark. It was as though you had to tell her everything in order for her to even consider the possibility that she had _any_ friends or family on the Ark.

Primus, even Ironhide had tried to get her to talk once! For reasons beyond anyones understanding, Lisa liked Ironhide and showed it. She was fascinated by his knowledge of weaponry and his war stories...As much as it pained them, it was the reason they seperated the two of them. They didn't want Lisa to feel boxed in, like they were preventing her from having friends, but they didn't know her motives as clearly as they thought they did (if her second known suicide attempt was anything to go by). Ironhide, despite the fact that the order insulted his character (as if he would even attempt to show her how to shoot or let her hold a weapon), allowed it. He had also said, plain and simple, that her knowledge wasn't the issue. It was working _with _her knowledge and enduring her red-faced stuttering for hours that was the key.

So, with that in mind, the group compiled what they knew about her: Shy, stutters, used to read the Bible extensively until she read somewhere that books carried thousands of bacteria, despises germs and fears her own race.

When they tried to get more information from the source itself...it didn't end well. Smokescreen had only asked her _once_ what she knew. He glitched during the meeting from shock. According to Blurr, she wasn't even halfway through. The femme was a walking encyclopedia. Red Alert was_ this close_ to blackmailing the poor kid. Blurr said it wasn't his place to tell. When asked what made _him_ so special by an annoyed Mirage, Blurr shrugged. 'Ask Lisa.' Mirage uncharastically snorted. 'Like they hadn't already tried that a million times over,' was the response.

He didn't know what they wanted from him. Well, actually, he knew exactly what they wanted. They wanted information. Well, he wasn't a spy under Jazz's command for nothing. If they wanted information, they would have to knock him offline and bypass the subroutes he had put into place. It was Lisa's right to share the information. Blurr was positive that she would share her past with one of them eventually...They just had to wait for it. If he could learn to bypass his programming and slow down his speech to a certain degree, then they could wait for Lisa to tell them, stutter and all, her story.

~0~

_Lisa POV_

When I had first come to base, I thought that everyone had a mutual understanding in terms of my stutter and my worth.

When I saw Mirage turn his helm when I bowed to him, I brushed it off because I thought he was right to treat me that way. I thought, _I'm just a human. He's an advanced robot from another planet. I am filth compared to him. I must not speak to him unless verbally requested to do so_.

At least...I thought that everyone understood until I overhead Sunstreaker and Sideswipe in the rec room.

["-freaky organic respect mechanism."

"I know, genius, but its just so fraggin' annoying! That femme's got some nerve calling us by 'chosen' humans in some book. In case she hasn't noticed, we aren't humans!" My eyes widened. _My_..._My titles_..._are annoying? They are taken as a sign of disrespect? The autobots do not want the titles? I_..._I am_..._annoying? A nuisance? _"And what's she on Prime about? Stares at the mech like he's Primus come to take her spark and when anyone tries to speak to her she bows and runs off. It's annoying as chipped paint! For Primus' sake, femme, talk for once in your life!"

I dug my hands into the wall behind me. I was reaching my limit. I had heard that request every day of my life and I was beyond sick of hearing it. 'Talk. Come on, I know you can!' 'Don't be shy.' 'She refused to speak again. All she does is read.' 'Take her books away and see what her reaction is.' 'I can't do that to her.' 'It's all for a psychological experiment, Lara, that's it.' 'Make her talk.' 'Hurry up. Speak. I haven't got all day.' 'I bet your voice sounds funny. I'm right, aren't I?' 'You can't just curl up in a dark corner and stay there for the rest of your life. You have to try new things, like...talking. It will be fun, won't it? Trying something new? No one will make fun of you for it. _Everyone_ tries new things.' 'Grow a back bone. Everyone else has one. Your behind.' 'What is the _matter_ with you? If you had just_ spoken _like I had told you to, you ignorant, idiotic little-'

"-glitch like Red Alert and Prowl if she were Cybertronian."

I gritted my teeth. _What's wrong with showing respect to another? So what if the culture is different? What's wrong with not talking? How about you learn a new language and stop being ignorant, big headed, above it all so-called mature beings with a back bone that wraps all the way around your head and blocks your sight!_]

Back then, Blurr and Red Alert had been the ones to save me from endangering my life on the Ark when I_ almost _yelled at the twins for being ignorant. Red Alert saw me in the hallway and told Blurr to get me away from the twins as soon as possible. He was the one who told Blurr about the closet that no one but him and I knew about. Red Alert was nice for letting us keep that sacred place for ourselves. I don't know why people made fun of him for being his 'paranoid' self. Red Alert wasn't paranoid in my eyes. He had a big spark and tried to show that to others by doing his job in a professional manner. Same thing with Prowl. I didn't know Prowl that well...but I did know that he got made fun, too. People were constantly making him glitch on purpose! Glitching is not funny! Jazz told me that Prowl gets massive headaches from glitching. It didn't surprise me. It's not like he lands in a sea of fluffy pillows! His helm lands on concrete! _Concrete! _How is watching people be in pain funny? Better yet, how is _causing_ someone that much pain funny? It's not! Would you want to watch a friend get hit by a bus while you stand on the sidewalk? I would hope not!

_Why is my race so cruel? We kill each other with words and think that pain is humorous. Then again, some of the bots aren't much better. Sunstreaker constantly refers to the humans on base as apes, which understandably insults a large margin of us. Why do we insult each other? Why is there hate? Why are some people so cruel? I know that not everyone can be like Jazz, but..._

I closed my eyes and placed my head on my knees. _Jazz. I can't believe I hit Jazz. He's practically my brother and I...I'm no better then them. I'm just like the other humans. I'm just like them..._

~0~

_Blurr POV_

"Lisa!" Lisa lifted her head to looked up at Blurr with watery eyes. Blurr instantly picked her up. "OhmyPrimuswhatswrong? Lisatalktome-!"

_**Blurr**_.

Blurr speed off to their closet. Once he was settled on the floor (hedidn'twanttobebuthehadtobe becauseLisacouldn'tverywelltalktohimifhewasvibrati ngcouldhe?) he looked down at Lisa. "LisapleaseI'mworriedwhatswrong?"

When she didn't answer he decided to 'pull a Jazz' to calm them both down.

_:Come stop your crying_

_It will be alright_

_Just take my hand_

_Hold it tight_

_I will protect you_

_From all around you_

_I will be here_

_Don't you cry_

_For one so small_

_You seem so strong_

_My arms will hold you_

_Keep you safe and warm_

_This bond between us_

_Can't be broken_

_I will be here_

_Don't you cry_

_Why can't they understand the way we feel?_

_They just don't trust what they can't explain_

_I know we're different but deep inside us_

_We're not that different at all_

_Don't listen to them_

_'Cause what do they know_

_We need each other_

_To have, to hold_

_They'll see in time_

_I know_

_'Cause you'll be in my heart_

_Yes, you'll be in my heart_

_Now and forever more_

_You'll be in my heart_

_No matter what they say_

_You'll be here in my heart_

_Always:_

"M-Mir...Mir..."

"Mirage?" Blurr whispered.

Lisa hid her head in Blurr's chest. "M-M-M-M-M-"

"Hush, little one. I've got you." Blurr cooed and nuzzled her. "What has been plaguing your circuits?"

_**Everything**_.

Blurr smiled. "Why don't you start off with one thing at a time?"

"I-I-I wanna...I-I-I w-wan' t-t-to...'Hide. M-M-Miss...him..."

Blurr sighed. _Oh dear_. "I told you why you can't, sweetspark."

"N-No bot c-could b-b-be on a m-m-mis-s-sion f-for that-t long," she argued.

"Remember what I said about Cybertronian time being longer?"

"H-How m-much longer?"

_Until everyone stops being ridiculous_. "Soon, sweetspark. Soon." _I_'_m bashing their helms in if its not_.

"Y-Y-You always s-say t-that. S-Still n-not h-h-home."

"I promise he will be home soon."

"M-Miss H-Hide..."

Blurr's optics dimmed. When were those idiots going to realize they were torturing the poor girl by not letting her see her uncle? They weren't supposed to torture humanity. Blurr lifted a digit and nuzzled her jaw bone. "What else, sweetspark? How's Smokescreen?" Lisa sniffled before snuggling closer to his spark. Blurr chuckled at the silent treatment. "Still an idiot, huh?"

_**Toy**_, she corrected.

"Well that's a nice upgrade."_ Or downgrade_... "What about Jazz?" Blurr waited for a response and was surprised when he didn't get one. She usually had a few words to say about Jazz. "Sweetspark...?"

She flicked her eyes at him before looking down again. "I-I..."

"_Sweetspark_," Blurr warned.

She sat up, back against his spark, and played with imaginary dust bunnies on the fabric covering her knees. "M-May have..." Her eyes flickered again, face growing red. "H-Hit..."

"You hit Jazz?" Blurr exclaimed.

Lisa flinched before placing her head on her knees. "D-Didn't...l-l-loos-se it-t."

_Primus_. _Maybe I should encourage her to_- "You don't hit family, sweetspark...Not in this one. You know Prime doesn't tolerate violence."

Oh, she knew. "I-I-I'm-"

"Hush, sweetspark." Blurr purred and held her her closer. "Don't apologize to me. You know Jazz loves you like a sister." Blurr and Lisa sat in silence for a few minutes, Blurr rubbing her back, before Lisa shivered. Blurr frowned. "Are you cold? Do you want to get a blanket?" He should start telling her to bring a hat with her whenever she leaves Hound's quarters...She always listened to him.

She shook her head. "D-Don't n-n-need one...B-Besides...H-Hound i-is...b-b-busy..."

Blurr's optics cycled. "_You know_..."

Lisa pouted before swatting at Blurr's servo. "N-No."

"Sweetspark, its okay to-"

"_No_."

"He doesn't-"

"Y-Yes h-h-he does."

Blurr sighed. Everytime he even _hinted_ at Mirage in conversation, Lisa avoided him like the plague. "Hound won't hate you for it. He has a good spark." He could almost hear her thinking 'I know' to the second part. The first...not so much. "'In lowliness Christ came, yet is indeed a Tower protecting and defending the sheep of His pasture, founded on earth in His Human Nature, reaching to Heaven in His divine...A strong Tower; the righteous runneth into it, and are safe.'" Blurr felt tears on his servo. _Mirage loves you, sweetspark_. _Why_ _don_'_t you see it? _"Talk to him, sweetspark. Promise me." Blurr sighed when her stomach growled. He stood up from his typical spot on the floor. "Come on. You need substance." Blurr knew that Lisa was always the most willing to eat when she was out of it...But he didn't want to share that information with the others in case they abused it. Yes, it was good for her to eat willingly...But for her to get down emotionally to the level she was at for that to happen...every time...It was just as unhealthy. Blurr would argue more so, but he wasn't in a position to defend that statement. Quite frankly, he didn't know if he ever would be.

~0~

Blurr watched silently as Lisa slowly ate enough food for two or three people. At this time of night there was no one in the rec room, which was a good thing in both their opinions. No people meant that Lisa could eat in peace and that no one would witness him glancing at the pulled out chair next to him.

**:Mirage, you know that I wouldn't hurt Lisa, right?:**

**:Of course.:**

**:Then why do you insist on following us?:**

**:I'm not going to tell anyone about your hide out. I didn't even go in.:**

Blurr crossed his arms.** :You didn't?:**

**:Scout's honor.:** Mirage thought in amusement.

**:Aren't you a spy?:**

**:There's a difference?: **He teased.

Blurr sighed.** :You know there is. Why don't you get recharge? Hound must be waiting for you.:**

**:I imagine Bluestreak is doing the same.:**

Blurr looked down at Lisa to avoid Mirage's invisible stare. _You'd be surprised_.** :Look, things are fine here. If Lisa learns that you're here she'll throw a fit. Go back to your quar-:**

Blurr froze and turned his vocalizer off when he felt a servo digging into his hip wires.

"Lisa's not the only one that needs to loosen up," Mirage chuckled in Blurr's audio.

Blurr tried to slap Mirage's servo away.** :Quit it, Raj. I mean it. Not in front of Lisa.:**

**:Oh, but it's okay any other time? I didn't know you had it in you.: **

Mirage chuckled as Blurr blushed.** :Haha: **Blurr grumbled.

Mirage rubbed Blurr's shoulder struts. **:Now, don't be like that. I'm just relaxing you.:**

Blurr looked away from Lisa as his circuits started to heat from the constant pressure. **:Does Hound know what your doing?:**

**:That I'm helping a fellow autobot and watching Lisa at the same time? Why yes, Blurr, how considerate of you.:**

_Everyone_'_s a sadist_. Mirage leaned down to his audio. "I'll stop if you tell me something."

Blurr's attitude shifted when he heard Mirage's tone. **:And what would that be?:**

**:How do you do it?:**

**:Do what?:**

**:Get her to talk. I've tried for orns and got squat.:**

**:Did you learn that from Hound?: **

Mirage tapped Blurr's helm lightly so Lisa couldn't hear.** :Not the point of my interrogation.:**

Blurr sighed. **:If you don't know the reason then we're all dooooom-M-Mirage!:**

**:Don't test me. I'm serious.:**

**:You don't say-Nhn, okay! Just stop that first!: Blurr breathed out in relief. :Sadist.:**

**:How crude...And you **_**are**_** aware that a sadist involves **_**pain**_**, correct?:**

**:It is a pain. Your a pain.:**

**:...I know it's none of my business, but is there something going on with Bluestreak? You really have been tense.:**

**:Your right. It's none of your business. Look, you know the reason why Lisa goes all willy wonka around you is because she has a crush on you.:**

**:Willy wonka...?:**

Blurr's faceplates heated.** :B-Blue likes the movie. That's not the point of this conversation.:**

**:Oh I know that. I'm just surprised his logic circuits didn't fry after watching it once.:**

**:If you know that, then why are you interrogating me?:**

**:Because I find it amusing and I'm bored...?: **Blurr rolled his optics. **:Oh, and Blurr? Talk to Bluestreak. He misses you...Alot. 'I'm going to start fragging my psychologist' alot-:**

**:Why you little-!: **Blurr turned to smack him when Mirage danced out of his reach. **:Get back here!:**

**:Sorry, can't hear you. I'm over the grand canyon.:**

Blurr snorted. **:Next time we go to the grand canyon on a mission I'm pushing you over the edge.:**

**:I'll keep Powerglide on stand by.: **Mirage teased before shutting off his end of the comlink.

Blurr shoulders dropped slightly as he huffed. _Spies_.

~0~

Blurr dropped Lisa off at Hound's quarters with Mirage right behind her. He walked down the hall to his own quarters when he was suddenly pulled into a closet. He immediately charged up his stingers to bring the hurt to his attacker when he realized that his attacker was flailing. "Hey hey easy on the stingers I'm not going to shoot so you shouldn't either!"

Blurr's jaw dropped. "Bluestreak?"

Blue huffed. "Yeah Bluestreak you dumbaft is it that difficult to tell it's me? Sheesh." Blue hit him on the helm with his own gun. "I thought I bonded to a smart mech, not a bitter one."

Blurr snorted, put away his stingers and lifted his helm up like a spoiled noble. "I have not been bitter."

Bluestreak put away his gun and pouted. "Yes you have. You've been a stubborn mech for cycles. You won't even let me cuddle you anymore." Bluestreak rubbed sensitive wires in Blurr's back. Blurr shivered, faceplates heating. "I...told you I didn't...like being c-coddled." Blue smiled at the stutter. "And I am not a stubborn mech."

Blue giggled. "Yes you are," Blue sang softly. "Look at you. If you weren't stubborn you wouldn't be fighting the effect this is having on you."

"Y-Your servos have...no effect on me."

"Really," Blue purred. "What about my glossa?"

Blue lowered his helm to try it out. He lowered his glossa between Blurr's chestplates. "B-Blue," Blurr gasped. "Primus."

_Come on, moan already_. Blue smirked when rubbing two wires in Blurr's hips caused the desired effect. Blue provided one last lick to Blurr's chamber before resting his helm on Blurr's chest. "Who has no effect on who now?" Blue teased.

Blurr blush deepened at Blue's mischievous expression. "Fine, you win..."

"Well..." Blue shuttered his optics at Blurr's expression. "Come on, love. You can tell me."

"Smokescreen," Blurr mumbled, defeated.

"_Blurr_," Blue groaned. "You know its for therapy."

"I don't care if Hatchet himself prescribed it. That therapy of yours is getting_ too _physical."

Blue huffed. "You know its not serious. When did you become so single-minded, anyway? I thought my mech was the fun bot that pranked Sentinel in the academy..."

Blurr blushed. "That was a long time ago..."

"Really? Your that old?"

Blue giggled as Blurr's jaw dropped. "I am not old!"

"I know, love. I'm teasing. It's just that you've been so tense..." Blue purred against Blurr's neck cables, making Blurr shiver. "You've got to loosen up. Have some fun. Go on a date or two with a mech-"

"The only bot I want is you," Blurr insisted.

Blue rolled his optics. "Oh come on. If I have my guilty pleasure, you have to have yours."

"Since when? Show me the rule book."

Blue poked Blurr, smirking. "Don't go there,_ rusty_, or I'm having Red Alert send that video out of us in the kitchen."

Blurr's optics dialated. "Iswearitwasn'tmyfaultthemixingbowlfellfrommyservo syousurprisedmeI-"

"Blurr!" Blue pouted as Blurr came back to reality. "Primus." Blue kissed Blurr until he was jelly against him. "Okay, that's it. Tell me who your crush is. I know you have one, Blurr, every mech does. Come on, who makes your pedes burn more than road rage? Whose the sexiest mech on this ship besides me? Oh, and if you say Prime I'm going to smack you and call you a dumbaft. That's everyone's answer. I want a real answer."

Blurr groaned as his helm hit the wall behind him. This was just too ironic. One moment he's telling Lisa that it's okay to have a crush, and now Bluestreak's telling _him_ that it's okay to have a crush? _What's wrong with the universe? _"I don't have one, Blue."

Blue circled his chamber. "You know I'm just going to torture you until you tell me. Why not just get it over with? It will mean a lot more fun for both of us. You want that, right? Come on, tell me. It will make me happy. You want your mate to be _happy_, don't you?"

Blurr chuckled. "Sadist. You'd torture me anyway."

Blue purred. "Not this time." Blue kissed his jaw. "Please?"

Blurr sighed, optics flickering from Blue to anywhere else. "Jazz," Blurr mumbled.

"Goody."

Blurr raised an optic ridge. "Goody _how?_"

Blue grinned. "Well, I _might_ have seen Jazz drag Smokescreen off to an empty storage room..."

Blurr's optics dilated. "Oh Primus, don't tell me your thinking of-"

"Want to go join them?"

Blurr contemplated the idea in his processor before crashing.

Blue giggled. _Maybe next time_.


End file.
